Horse Shows -- Structured Pandemonium

February 5, 2010

If there were only one word to describe a horse show it would be “contrast”. Horse shows are structured pandemonium. They are incredibly exciting, yet exceedingly boring, easy and exhausting, swift and dawdling, morning and night, stunning and hideous, expensive and, well, more expensive.

While I truly dislike watching the daughters of others show, I truly enjoy watching my daughter show. My butt cheeks would quiver as our horse approached the first jump and my wife clenched my arm with her fingernails. Time slowed and our breathing became shallow and shaky as if our bodies were in sub-zero pools of water, while our heads were baking in a desert on the equator of Mercury. While my body quaked, my mind became a play-by-play announcer. I thought to myself,

‘Eight jumps … that’s all … we just need eight clean jumps. Any hitch, knock, falter, wrong lead change, short, long, chip, could send us home unhappy. There she goes. So beautiful… like a ballet… a symphony. So beautiful.

There’s the first jump … good… good. Now the second … smooth… clean. Don’t forget to breath, breath. I don’t think I am. Breath damn it … Breath.

Now coming to jump three… just like a ballet … clear. Good…Easy on the hands… easy … easy … OK and now four … easy on the pace… easy … easy … good… great! OK a single at five … these are the hardest … a single jump … all by itself… nothing for judging pace… just a lonely jump… all alone.

Three more jumps … a gymnastic… three jumps in a line… nice gait… nice … nice … breath … breath… good over six… breath… good over seven… breath, breath …now eight. Here it comes. It’s coming … the last one. Great. Awesome! Breath. The perfect course…Breath … the perfect course. She’s done… she’s done… breath… breath. So beautiful…just like a ballet… just like a ballet’